Monday, March 2, 2009

Sharing What We Don’t Have?

How many times have we been disheartened because the people we love do not even show love and respect for themselves? We want to give those advices and hold them back as much as possible for we desire nothing but their own happiness but nothing seems to happen. At times, we give up our own happiness just to ensure our love ones’ but we both end up being dejected for we become foiled together.

When all those things happened, have we asked ourselves what went wrong? Have we reflected on why people refused to be happy when we offered them our shoulder? Have we been frustrated because we were not able to share the happiness that we wanted to share? Loads and loads of questions can be asked and those questions could only be answered by nobody else but ourselves as we personally reflect on our own individual lives.

No matter how much we try to make other people happy and satisfied, we will never be able to help them. Happiness is very relative that we can never define other people’s happiness the way we define it for ourselves. Let’s not be saddened by the fact that we cannot make even those people who are closest to us to be happy because we don’t have control over their lives and we could never dictate them how to feel. The best way to deal with it is to make ourselves feel the way we want others to feel. Our feelings are contagious to the people around us so we don’t have to slog just to make other people happy because we could establish it in very on get-up-and-go.

We can never make other people happy but we can show them how to live a happy life. However, in doing so, we have to make sure that we feel the bliss deep within for we could never share happiness if we don’t caress it. Yes, it’s so simple to say that we are happy although we feel exactly different. We cannot fake our emotion because it can always be seen and felt by the people around us, especially those who know us well. Hence, pretending to be happy just to make our love ones happy is nearly impossible for we could only share the very feeling that we feel and not the feeling that we want them to feel.

Yes, we are very much concerned of the people around us especially to the people we love – we want to make them happy by sacrificing our own happiness, we want to make them strong by sacrificing our own strength. However, several situations in the history of mankind have proven that we couldn't share what we don’t have. We heard the stories of those people in the history who committed suicide after achieving tremendous success in life. Kevin Carter, a renowned photographer who won the Pulitzer Prize award for feature photography, puzzled the world when he committed suicide after winning the prize. On his suicide note, he exclaimed his last words which include, "The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist." Right after receiving the trophy, Carter was very excited to share his victory with his love ones yet he knew deep within his real feeling which overrides the feeling that he called happiness.

Sharing has never been bad because we all live for one another, yet, we have to remember that it’s unbearable to share something we are not sure we have. We could not share our victory if we don’t feel victorious deep within, we could not share love if we don’t love ourselves, we could not share kindness if we are not kind to ourselves, we could not share our lives if we don’t live it. We could only share those things that are abundant in us just like we could not share a simple smile without having smile in our lips. We don’t have to wait for others to love us by forcing ourselves to love others because we deserve the best love and affection from ourselves. After we fully decipher the love and respect that we have for ourselves, we will enjoy loving and lending our shoulders to others.

The excerpt of Kevin Carter’s suicidal note was derived from Scott Macleod’s article on “The life and death of Kevin Carter.” For further reading on Kevin Carter’s life and Scott Macleod’s article, visit

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